Power...

I wonder how many times I’m going to walk into my closet and flip on the light switch.
The power has been out since Saturday morning. I am actually quite surprised that the outage has lasted this long. I know that I have heard of people going weeks without it after a hurricane, but I just figured that being in the neighborhood that I’m in, I would have power by now. I do have gas and water, so life is really not that bad. It’s just that I would really like to have my A/C and lights.

Jamie has power, but I don’t think that matters for me.

It seems we have fought everyday for the past 3 weeks, and I’m pretty sure that I’m done. Done? Am I really? I have such a hard time actually thinking about that. I literally have to remind myself where we are at, and where we have been for the past three weeks before I can even believe it.

I just kept thinking that things would turn around. I did not feel much different about her, but I could tell that she was acting strange.

Last night was kind of a breaking point for me. Before last night, things seemed to be going the right direction. Before last night, she seemed to be accepting what she had been doing, but then last night was just the last straw.

Since she had power, and I was without, it was agreed that I would spend the night with her. I went home so that she could go hang out with her friend.

Well about 9 pm she text me, "Hope you are having a good night"

Well, at 9pm it’s dark out, and there is not much to do in a house with no lights if it is dark out.
I replied that I’m going to bed and that I hope that her and Aaron were having a good night.

She gives me an update on what they were doing and wishes me a good night.

I’m a little pissed at this. She knows that I have no power. She knows how uncomfortable it is in the house without power, and yet she can’t invite me over here.

I reply with a couple bitchy text messages about how uncomfortable I am, and how sick I felt from dinner. The sickness was true, but it was not as bad as I was making it out to be. Any way, it was only after three text messages that she finally responded. "Do you need any medicine?"

No, I needed a comfortable place to sleep, but I guess hanging out with your friend was more important. Even though, I could have hung out with them or just gone to bed while they hung out. It did not matter to me. As her Boy friend or supposed best friend, I should have been on the top of her list for comfort. I shouldn’t have to be bitching to get her attention.

I think that was it for me. I’m tired of her telling me that I’m first in her life, and then I have to sleep in a house with no power while she watches family guy with a friend.

She did invite me over, but only after I created a fuss. At that time, I don’t think I could have even looked at her without being pissed off.

I knew that I had been feeling like a backup friend for quite some time, but I kind of ignored it. I just figured that we were going through what ever we were going through and I would be a priority once again. I think last night I got tired of waiting. I got tired of just being ignored.

This whole thing brings to mind a saying I heard a comedian say once….No matter how hot the girl, somewhere, there is a guy tired of putting up with her shit.